The Language of the Body

When we go to a doctor we expect to be told what is wrong with us. We receive a diagnosis and then wonder what we will do about it. It’s becoming obvious more and more that drugs are not, and never have been the answer to health. So why do we keep taking them at the advice of a doctor who might not have a clue what the side effects are? We have put our lives in the hands of doctors instead of taking back the power that sits within each of us to discover… if only we can understand and trust it.

“To me the greatest challenge has been understanding the illusion of all that we perceive as ‘reality’. Someday when all of us reach that Galactic Stage of development and awareness, then perhaps all of us will understand the big illusion…. ” ~ Norm Shealy M.D. Ph.D and President of Holos Institutes of Health

Writing my book The Sacred Language of the Human Body was a fulfilment to me – to be able to share with all of you the most profound reasons why we get sick, why we develop conditions in the body, and what the actual causes are, and why we are more than capable of reversing them.

The phrase “As Above, So Below” is important to conceive of because the body reflects the “So Below”. The “As Above” in life is our mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies. They are our thought forms that create who we are. The “So Below” is the bodies way of expressing it.

Recently Stephen Hawking talked about stem cell research and the possibilities of science being able to cure even paralysis in the future. Spinal cord injuries are the hardest to heal, yet researchers are suggesting that stem cell research will prove to be positive as miraculous results in rats have already been observed. Hawking stated there was a danger in this as well. He said stem cells are bionic cells in the body that carry more than we know… even cancer. So his concern is that science needs to work out the bugs before he would feel confident in this whole heartedly.

In the meantime, I have information from the work I’ve done for over 30 years with energy and reading conditions for individuals as well as groups with certain conditions looking for answers. It’s time to move forward in a changing world and learn the benefits you were born with. In my book I shared certain reasons for particular forms of illness and disease. Not every condition responds the same to any one cure. That’s because based on who you are and your past experiences, a “fall out” of energy that the body has had enough of, will leak into the physical form after a period of time.

Each body area has a language as to what the organs do, the muscles, the nerves, etc. When a condition occurs in the body in a localized area, it’s to help us discover what we might need to change in order to keep “homeostasis” in our emotions, mental reasoning, and spiritual living.

The Language of the Body

What body parts express what emotions? And which emotions or thoughts contribute to their condition?

Left is the receiver and right is the giver. From there you will be able to identify a cause by going back and being honest with yourself. If you are having difficulties in these areas, here are some examples based on the overall role of the area:

ARMS: What are you carrying… or who?

ARMPITS: Storage unit of what we don’t want to see anymore (emotional).

BACK: Questioning life’s relation to support (who supports us, etc.) Confrontation for supporting yourself through love.

BLADDER: Emotional resistance to life.

BREASTS: Nurturing the Self (or lack of).

CALVES: Moving forward. Not dealing with past issues or patterns.

COLON: Not going with the flow of life..emotional resistance to change.

EYES: How do you see life? Is it according to your true self?

FEET: How we walk in this world. In which direction are we walking?

JOINTS: Flexibility or not in your situations and your attachments to them.

HANDS: Represent holding on or letting go.

HEART: Not listening to our true self through our feelings.

HIPS: General support. When they slip out, it generally relates to an imbalance in how you are relating to life. Feeling the lack of love and support. 

JOINTS: Flexibility to or in your situations.

KIDNEYS: Holding on to angers or resentments. Being pissed off.

KNEES: Seeing life as unsupported. Inside knee; Community, job, friends. Outside knee; personal issues.

NERVES: Sensitivity towards a situation not acknowledged in the conscious mind.

OVARIES: Very sensitive past issues about creativity. Guilt.

SINUS: Confusion. Needing to let go or make decisions on a mental level. Sinus infections are anger in the situation. Headaches are contributed to not making a decision. Migraines are the daddy of headaches of knowing what decision to make and not making it.

STOMACH: Carries recognition of digesting life, or not.

SWELLING: Tears unshed.

Blockages

Blockages such as the effects of our insecure actions, restrict the body’s potential for healing. The can include blood, nerve, oxygen, and any forward motion toward a goal. These obviously cause dysfunction and discomfort as well:

ALLERGIES: Blockages in the stomach and intestines. What are we not digesting?

ACHING: Craving love so bad it hurts! (Depending on where the ache is, the language speaks for itself).

ANXIETY: Fear generated by past experiences not yet released.

ARTHRITIS: Joints determine flexibility. How flexible are we willing to be? Not letting go.

ASTHMA: Fear from past lives, somewhat acknowledged in this life. Feeling alone, not safe.

BLOOD PRESSURE: What pressures stand in our way to freedom?

BONES: Past lives and memories stored there. Marrow is the meat of our past.

BOWELS: The “outcome” of the day. Pressures either building or releasing.

BRONCHITIS: Feeling that you can’t change a situation happening that is close to your heart. Inner congestion.

CANCER: This brings up inner upset. Deep hurts unresolved.

CANDIDA: “Can anybody hear me?” Lack of trust. Deep frustrations not recognized.

CARPAL TUNNEL: “Why can’t I make this life work?” It’s a form of outward frustration relating to the nerves held deep under the armpit. This is also where we keep our deepest secrets so other’s can’t see them.

COLD HANDS AND FEET: Not trusting yourself. Believing you may never “live up to…”

COLDS: We simply don’t catch colds. Colds are mental confusion. Not sure if you should choose one way or another

FAT: Over-sensitivity. Sadness. A need for a way of protection. Where is all this weight coming from? (Can also be holding onto others’ or your own emotions in the body.)

FATIGUE: Boredom, resistance, and denying what it takes to move forward, “What’s next?”

FIBROIDS: Questioning if you are loved. Nursing pains from the past.

FLU: Time out. This is your body’s way of making yourself slow down.

GUM PROBLEMS: Not making a decision for yourself and not sticking to it if you did. Be clear, and go for it!

HAY FVER: Not feeling that you deserve to be happy. A form of self-persecution.

INSOMNIA: Fear, guilt and a feeling that “I just can’t control life…”

MUSCLES: Representing our ability to move in life. How flexible are we?

NAIL BITING: Not liking yourself and wondering if you really have anything to offer. Questioning your worth.

PNEUMONIA: I’m so tired. Trying isn’t necessary anymore.

SACRUM: What are you sitting on? Let’s get to the bottom issue.

SPASMS: Holding onto old thoughts when old thoughts are ready to be released.

TEETH: Not liking your situation. (Because they are bone, it could be past life pain coming up for release).

ULCERS: Not feeling fulfilled. Leaving a hole and causing grief.

These are just examples of how the body speaks for itself. It knows not good or bad, it only reacts. No one has random effects in a physical body. All things are energy, and we are in charge. This is a time of recognition and reconciliation of our own spirit. We live in a time when our human awareness is poised to experience a more fulfilling connection to the greater universe as we journey back to who we truly are. Oneness within ourselves guides and produces oneness in the world. This is how true health is created and shared. It is an integrated way of living, where simplicity and knowledge shall lead the way towards a planet of balance and harmony.

May you stay healthy in these times of constant change and resilience.

Blessings, Mona

Source : http://wakeup-world.com/

Traits of an Awakening Soul

You can say it’s because of a global shift in consciousness, a destiny we have arrived at due to spiritual evolution, or the outcome of strange times, but, many people all across the globe are going through intense personal changes and sensing an expansion of consciousness. Personal changes of this magnitude can be difficult to recognize and to understand, but here are 21 traits of an awakening soul, a ‘sensitive’, or an ‘empath.’

1.  Being in public places is sometimes overwhelming. Since our walls between self and other are dissolving, we haven’t really learned to distinguish between someone else’s energy and our own. If the general mood of the crowd is herd-like or negative, we can feel this acutely, and may feel like retreating into our own private space. When we have recharged our batteries with meditation, spending time in nature, far away from other people, or just sitting in quiet contemplation, we are ready to be with the masses again. In personal relationships, we often will feel someone else’s emotions as our own. It is important to have this higher sense of empathy, but we must learn to allow another person’s emotions while observing them and keeping our empathy, but, realizing that not all emotions belong to us. Social influence can dampen our own innate wisdom.

2.  We know things without having to intellectually figure them out. Often called intuitive awareness, we have ‘a-ha’ moments and insights that can explain some of the most complex theories or phenomenon in the world. Some of the most brilliant minds of our time just ‘know.’ Adepts and sages often were given downloads of information from higher states of consciousness after meditating or being in the presence of a more conscious individual; this is happening for more people with more frequency. As we trust our intuition more often, it grows stronger.  This is a time of ‘thinking’ with our hearts more than our heads. Our guts will no longer be ignored. Our dreams are becoming precognitive and eventually our conscious thoughts will be as well.

3.  Watching television or most of main stream media, including newspapers and many Hollywood movies is very distasteful to us. The mindset that creates much, but not all, of the programming on television and in cinema is abhorrent. It commodifies people and promotes violence. It reduces our intelligence and numbs our natural empathetic response to someone in pain.

4.  Lying to us is nearly impossible. We may not know exactly what truth you are withholding, but we can also tell (with our developing intuition and ESP skills) that something isn’t right. We also know when you have other emotions, pain, love, etc. that you aren’t expressing. You’re an open book to us. We aren’t trained in counter-intelligence, we are just observant and knowing. While we may pick up on physical cues, we can look into your eyes and know what you are feeling.

5.  We may pick up symptoms of your cold, just like men who get morning sickness when their wives are pregnant. Sympathy pains, whether emotional or physical, are something we experience often. We tend to absorb emotion through the solar plexus, considered the place we ‘stomach emotion’ so as we learn to strengthen this chakra center, we may sometimes develop digestive issues. Grounding to the earth can help to re-establish our emotional center. Walking barefoot is a great way to re-ground.

6.  We tend to root for the underdog, those without voices, those who have been beaten down by the matrix, etc. We are very compassionate people, and these marginalized individuals often need more love. People can sense our loving hearts, so complete strangers will often tell us their life stories or approach us with their problems. While we don’t want to be a dumping ground for everyone’s issues, we are also a good ear for those working through their stuff.

7.  If we don’t learn how to set proper boundaries, we can get tired easily from taking on other people’s emotions. Energy Vampires are drawn to us like flies to paper, so we need to be extra vigilant in protecting ourselves at times.

8.  Unfortunately, sensitives or empaths often turn to drug abuse or alcohol to block some of their emotions and to ‘protect’ themselves from feeling the pain of others.

9.  We are all becoming healers. We naturally gravitate toward healing fields, acupuncture, reiki, Qi-Gong, yoga, massage, midwivery, etc. are fields we often find ourselves in. We know that the collective needs to be healed, and so we try our best to offer healing in whatever form we are most drawn to. We also turn away from the ‘traditional’ forms of healing ourselves. Preferring natural foods, herbs, and holistic medicine as ways to cure every ailment.

10.  We see the possibilities before others do. Just like when the church told Copernicus he was wrong, and he stood by his heliocentric theory, we know what the masses refuse to believe. Our minds are light-years ahead.

11.  We are creative. We sing, dance, paint, invent, or write. We have amazing imaginations.

12.  We require more solitude than the average person.

13.  We might get bored easily, but we are really good at entertaining ourselves.

14.  We have a difficult time doing things we don’t want to do or don’t really enjoy. We really do believe life was meant to be an expression of joy. Why waste it doing something you hate? We aren’t lazy, we are discerning.

15.  We are obsessed with bringing the truth to light. Like little children who say, “that’s not fair” we want to right the wrongs of the world, and we believe it often just takes education. We endeavor to explain the unexplainable and find answers to the deep questions of life. We are seekers, in the Campbellian paradigm. ‘The Hero With a Thousand Faces.”

16.  We can’t keep track of time. Our imaginations often get away with us and a day can feel like a minute, a week, a day.

17.  We abhor routine.

18.  We often disagree with authority (for obvious reasons).

19.  We will often be kind, but if you are egotistical or rude, we won’t spend much time with you or find an excuse to not hang out with people who are obsessed with themselves. We don’t ‘get’ people who are insensitive to other people’s feelings or points of view.

20.  We may be vegan or vegetarian because we can sense a certain energy of the food we eat, like if an animal was slaughtered inhumanely. We don’t want to consume negative energy.

21.  We wear our own emotions on our sleeves and have a hard time ‘pretending’ to be happy if we aren’t. We avoid confrontation, But will quietly go about changing the world in ways you can’t even see.

Source : Written by Christina Sarich of www.wakingtimes.com

For many years, my soul was trying to guide me, but I wasn’t paying attention. Even when my soul tried to communicate with big glaring WARNING signs or GO HERE billboards, I disregarded the signs. Thinking back to the year 2000, I have to laugh when I think about how my former husband and I stood in line for three hours at the courthouse to get our marriage certificate. And finally, when we were at the very front of the line, belly up to the courthouse clerk, there was a bomb threat. A BOMB THREAT! I literally turned to my fiancé and said, “Is it a sign?”

Of course it was a sign, Lissa! I’d already received other, more subtle signs that foretold the destructive patterns that later became impossible to ignore. But I overlooked those signs at the time, just like I ignored the flashing red bomb threat that forced us to evacuate the courthouse.

Why did I ignore such blatant soul guidance? Because I was attached to marrying this guy, I wrote it off as “coincidence,” even though somewhere deep within me, I knew better.

How “Should” Interferes with Soul Guidance

Consider the times you’ve ignored your soul’s guidance. Chances are good that you did so because you thought you should. The wedding invites are already sent, so you should go through with the wedding. You’ve already spent so many years training for the job your soul wants you to leave. The money is good. It’s a secure job in an insecure economy. You should stay. Your soul is telling you that you don’t have to take care of the elderly relative who treats you like dirt, but another part of you thinks you should. You’re working yourself to death to pay for the fancy house and the private school, and your soul is telling you to simplify, downsize, and send the kids to public school. But you don’t think you should sacrifice their quality of life for yours.

Your soul doesn’t want to go to church anymore, but you should. Your soul doesn’t want to hang out with the friend you’ve known for twenty years anymore, but you should. Your soul doesn’t like the missionary position and wants to get down and dirty, but you should not let on that you fantasize the way you do. Your soul wants to dance under the moonlight, but you should go to the gym. Your soul wants to eat dark chocolate, but you should eat kale.

God forbid you actually follow the soul’s guidance. All hell might break loose. There could be anarchy.

Overriding the Soul’s Guidance

Because we’re so full of ideas and judgements about what we should and shouldn’t do, we tend to talk ourselves out of our soul’s guidance. We don’t trust that our soul knows what’s best, so we tend to write off soul guidance as mere coincidence or whimsy or even folly. To both pay attention and heed soul guidance may require radical acts of courage, and that can feel terrifying.

Where will my soul lead me? How uncomfortable will I have to get? How much uncertainty will I need to tolerate?

The soul doesn’t care about certainty. The soul cares about freedom.

When the Soul Has to Yell

Every time we override the soul’s guidance, the soul tends to get louder, not because you don’t have free will and not because the soul is punishing you, but because the soul is always trying to get through to you. The soul doesn’t necessarily speak the same language as you, so it may not just start rattling off soul guidance in your ear. Instead, it will use anything it can- dreams, emails, people who show up with messages for you, physical symptoms, gut instincts, bumper stickers, synchronicities that make you pay attention. The soul is always trying to guide you, but when you repetitively ignore it, it has to get crafty. Sometimes you wind up clobbered with the proverbial 2 x 4.

The soul’s guidance may start as a guiding dream or a persistent thought or a book or blog post that seems to speak directly to you. But if you ignore the soul’s guidance, the soul may guide you through painful interventions, like loss or illness. The soul is always yearning for you to WAKE UP and free yourself from all the shoulds. It will use any vehicle at its disposal to help you face the TRUTH about who you are and what is aligned with your true self.

Source :  By Lissa Rankin MD  Guest Writer for Wake Up World

How Liars Lie....

People lie all the time, but depending on how skilled they are, it can be difficult to determine when someone is lying to you. Do you know how to recognize the signs that someone is lying to you? Some of the signs are obvious while others are more subliminal, but there are ways to catch someone in a lie, you just need to know what they are. Here are some easy ways to recognize liars and catch lies:

1. A person who is lying to you won’t make eye contact with you or they make too much eye contact. If a person is lying they may feel you are scrutinizing them and they will look down at the floor or away from your eyes. Some people try to stare you in the face in a deliberate way because they feel like making eye contact will make what they are saying more believable.

2. Liars avoid using contractions…. “I did NOT have sexual intercourse with at woman”. This is an attempt by the liar to be absolutely clear what they mean but it ends up making the story a lot less believable. Stalling tactics are also common. The liar may ask you a question like “where did you get that information?” while they try to back peddle and come up with an explanation for your question.

3. Weird Body Language. Liars often fidget, turn away from the person to whom they are speaking, blink rapidly, smile less and have pitch changes in their tone of voice. They may cross their arms which is a sign of being “closed” or trying not to reveal too much information. Sometimes people fidget excessively when they are lying. They could fidget with a part of their body or touch parts of their face, an ear or a nose or play with keys or another item that they have in their hand.

4. Liars provide additional information without being asked for it. They seem to think that by embellishing their story you will find it more believable. What happens is they tend to make the story more complicated and less believable. The more elaborate the story, the more likely that it is a fabrication and nothing near the truth.

5. A person who is telling a lie will get defensive. They will do everything in their power to deflect your attention away from themselves and will get angry that you are questioning their innocence. People who are telling the truth tend to go the opposite way and go on the offense. This will become obvious to you when you are trying to have a conversation with a person and they try to change the subject or move the conversation in a different direction.

6. If a person is lying they tend to over-embellish insignificant details while avoiding important ones. Exaggerated details make the liar feel better, but the person who is hearing the lie will start to get the feeling that something is definitely amiss. This can make it easier to catch a person in a lie because you can jot down details of the story that you are being told and then ask questions about those details later to see if they are still the same.

7. Watch the eye movements of the person. If a person is remembering something they tend to move their eyes up and in a left direction if they are right handed. If they are making something up, their eyes wil move up and to the right. Left handed people do similar movements but in the opposite direction. People blink rapidly (“eye flutter”) when they lie or they may rub their eyes. Eyelids also tend to close a little bit longer than a normal blink if a person hears something or sees something they they do ont like. Hand movements towards the eyes can be a further indication of “blocking out” the truth.

8. Some people sweat more when they are telling a lie. Measuring perspiration is one of the markers of a polygraph test but is not an indication on its own of a person telling a lie. Some people sweat more when they are nervous or if they are shy. Sweating together with blushing, trembling and difficulty swallowing can be a clear better indication that someone that is lying to you.

9. Watch for micro expressions. The true measure of a person’s emotions will quickly flash across their face at the beginning of a conversation. It could be a half smile that lasts for five seconds or a worried look that lasts the same amount of time. These micro expressions are sometimes noticed by people subconsciously and they tend to know right away that a person is lying, although they do not know how they know this. A lot of people tend to feel a “gut instinct” about something such as a person who is lying, and this is usually as a result of seeing a micro-expression during a conversation. The micro expression is quick but if you watch for it you can see it.

10. Ask the liar to repeat their story again. If the story is fabricated it can be very difficult to remember all of the details that they gave to you the first time around. You may notice that the person looks very uncomfortable and worried about what they are going to say to you when you ask them to repeat details that they clearly made up the first time around.

Most of the time it is easy to tell when someone is lying to you because you feel it and you know that the person is not being one hundred per cent truthful. If you start to look more closely at the person’s behavior and movements, you will start to notice a lot more things more easily. At first you may have chalked these things up to a gut feeling, but soon you will see that you are more observant than you had originally thought. Liars are easy to spot when you follow some main guidelines and start to be more observant of the person that you are talking to.

9 Signs You’re An Old Soul

There is a special kind of person in our world who finds himself alone and isolated, almost since birth.

His solitary existence isn’t from a preference or an antisocial temperament – he is simply old.  Old in heart, old in mind and old in soul, this person is an old soul who finds his outlook on life vastly different and more matured than those around him.  As a result, the old soul lives his life internally, walking his own solitary path while the rest around him flock to follow another.  Perhaps you’ve experienced this in your own life, or have witnessed it in another person?  If so, this article is dedicated to you, in hopes that you will come to define yourself, or understand another better.

The “Old Soul”

Robert Frost, Eckhart Tolle and even Nick Jonas have been called them.  Perhaps even you have?  I did.  Like many of them, this self discovery was made upon meeting Sol, who told me about his childhood as a precocious, intelligent boy who would befriend the teachers instead of the students, just because they were too different from him.  As he related his inability to find interest in and connection to the people his age, I discovered that I felt the same, and still do.

If you have not yet discovered whether you’re an old soul, read some of the revealing signs below.

9 Signs You’re An Old Soul

 1#   You tend to be a solitary loner.

Because old souls are disinterested in the pursuits and interests of the people in their age groups, they find it dissatisfying to make friends with people they find it hard to relate to.  The result is … old souls tend to find themselves alone a lot of the time.  People just don’t cut it for them.

2#   You love knowledge, wisdom and truth.

Yep … this seems a little grandiose and overly noble, but the old soul finds himself naturally gravitating towards the intellectual side of life.  Old souls inherently understand that knowledge is power, wisdom is happiness and truth is freedom, so why not seek after those things?  These pursuits are more meaningful to them than reading up on the latest gossip about Snooki’s latest boyfriend, or the latest football scores.

3#   You’re spiritually inclined.

More emotional old souls tend to have sensitive and spiritual natures.  Overcoming the confines of the ego, seeking enlightenment and fostering love and peace are the main pursuits of these young-in-body Mother Teresa’s.  To them it seems the wisest, most fulfilling use of time.

4#   You understand the transience of life.

Old souls are frequently plagued with reminders of not only their own mortality, but that of everything and everyone around them.  This makes the old soul wary and at times withdrawn, but wisely dictates the way they live their lives.

5#   You’re thoughtful and introspective.

Old souls tend to think a lot … about everything.  Their ability to reflect and learn from their actions and those of others is their greatest teacher in life.  One reason why old souls feel so old at heart is because they have learnt so many lessons through their own thought processes, and possess so much insight into life situations from their ability to quietly and carefully observe what if going on around them.

6#   You see the bigger picture.

Rarely do old souls get lost in the superficial details of getting useless degrees, job promotions, boob jobs and bigger TV’s.  Old souls have the tendency to look at life from a birds eye view, seeing what is the most wise and meaningful way to approach life.  When confronted with issues, old souls tend to see them as temporary and passing pains that merely serve to increase the amount of joy felt in the future.  Consequently, old souls tend to have placid, stable natures as a result of their approach to life.

7#   You aren’t materialistic.

Wealth, status, fame, and the latest version of iPhone … they just bore old souls.  The old soul doesn’t see the purpose of pursuing things that can be easily taken away from them.  Additionally, old souls have little time and interest for the short-lived things in life, as they bring little meaning or long lasting fulfillment for them.

8#   You were a strange, socially maladaptive kid.

This is not always the case, but many old souls exhibit odd signs of maturity at young ages.  Often, these children are labelled as being “precocious”, “introverted”, or “rebellious“, failing to fit into the mainstream behaviors.  Usually, these children are extremely inquisitive and intelligent, seeing the purposelessness of many things their teachers, parents and peers say and so, and either passively or aggressively resisting them.  If you can talk to your child like he/she’s an adult – you’ve probably got an old soul on your hands.

9#   You just “feel” old.

Before putting a name to what I felt, I experienced certain sensations of simply being an “old person” inside.  The feelings that accompany being an old soul are usually: a feeling of world wariness, mental tiredness, watchful patience, and detached calmness. Unfortunately, this can often be perceived as being aloof and cold, which is only one of many Old Soul Myths.

Just as some old people describe themselves as being “young at heart”, so too can young people be “old at heart”.

Are you an old soul?  I’d love to hear your stories below.

5 Questions Guaranteed To Help You Know Yourself Better

The key to happiness is to be more of who we are. In order to know who we are, ask yourself a few key questions. Try writing down your answers to the following questions.

1. Who do you envy and why?

Gretchen says that when someone has something you want, that’s very useful information about who you want to be. Rather than focusing on the negative aspect of envy or the judgement you might put on yourself for feeling that way, focus on being grateful for this additional information about what you value and care about.

2. What do you lie about?

Anything we try to hide is a big red flag. The lie is a disconnect between your behavior and your values.

3. What would you do for fun?

It is a sad fact about happiness that when you say to adults, “What would you do for fun?” many adults are truly mystified. HINT: If you don’t know the answer, answer this- What did you do for fun when you were 10 years old?

4. Are you an abstainer or a moderator?

Think of something you find very tempting- chocolate, cigarettes, sex, alcohol, Cheetos, shopping- whatever.

Gretchen says there are two types of people- abstainers and moderators. To avoid temptation, abstainers have to go cold turkey. They can’t even get started with a bag of potato chips or they’ll eat the whole bag. Moderators, on the other hand, can eat just one square of dark chocolate and be happy, and if they abstain completely, they get totally cranky.  Moderators feel rebellious if they’re not allowed to have just a little bit.

Since part of what makes people unhappy is trying to resist temptation, it helps to know whether you’re an abstainer or a moderator. If you know yourself and your own nature- and you OWN it- you’re much better prepared to handle temptation. In other words, just accept your own nature and act accordingly.

5. What’s the nature of your relationship to the expectations of yourself and others?

When you are trying to change a habit, you’re trying to impose an expectation upon yourself. But there are two kinds of expectations- outer expectations (work deadlines, a request from a sweetheart) and inner expectations (what you desire for yourself.)

Gretchen explains that there are 4 categories of expectations:

• Upholders

These people respond well to both outer and inner expectations without much fuss. They just do as they’re told, whether their motivations come from internal or external expectations. These are your classic “goody two shoes,” who follow rules pretty blindly. If a sign is posted, they will obey it. If they set a New Year’s Resolution, they’ll just do it.

Upholders are motivated by fulfillment. They feel good when they meet expectations. They hate to be blamed or let people down. They want to know the rules, and they’re great rule followers, but they’re unhappy if they don’t know what is expected of them. They’re good self-starters. If they make up their minds to do something, they do it. But the dark side is that if upholders don’t know what’s expected of them- if things are ambiguous, they feel paralyzed. There’s a grinding quality, a relentlessness, to upholders. They need to stay within their comfort zones to feel happy, and that includes knowing what is expected of them.

• Questioners

These people question all expectations, whether internal or external. In order to change a behavior, they must be persuaded. If their questions are answered to their own satisfaction, they can be persuaded to meet an expectation. If the motivations for change don’t make sense to them, forget it!

Questioners can have either upholder tendencies or rebel tendencies, but most lean one way or another.

Questioners wake up in the morning and think “What needs to get done today?” They want to know why they should do something. The questioner is saying, “Why are we doing this at all?” They love information and research. If they accept an expectation, they’re good at fulfilling it. They endorse everything internally if they sign on. But their upside is also their downside. If you don’t get a questioner on board, they’re not going to meet expectations. It’s hard for them to act if they feel they don’t have enough information. This can make them seem totally arbitrary.

• Rebels

These people resist all expectations, inner or outer. A rebel wants to do what a rebel wants to do. If you set an expectation for a rebel and tell them to do something, they’ll actually go out of their way to disobey you and fail to meet the expectation, just to prove a point. The upside of the rebels is that they’re willing to think and behave outside the box. They can be creative nonconformists who push the envelope. But they can be incredibly frustrating! Gretchen says rebels can be manipulated by challenging them and suggesting that they CAN’T do something. Tell a rebel she can’t do something and she’ll be all, “Well, I’ll show you. Ha!”

Tell a rebel, “I don’t think your team can get that done by Friday!” Then watch them be ready by Wednesday.

Although rebels are not motivated by following the rules, rebels may occasionally (and shockingly) choose to do something purely out of love for you- not because you asked them to do it, but because they love you. But not always. So don’t get your hopes up.

• Obligers

These people readily meet outer expectations but have a hard time meeting inner expectations. So they’ll go out of their way to please others, but they do at the expense of what is in their own best interests. These are the typical “people pleasers” who sell themselves out for the approval of others.

Obligers wake up and think “What do I HAVE to do today?” They are motivated by external accountability. They’re great to have around- great team members, great friends, great family. They hate to make mistakes. They bear the brunt of it on themselves. They hate being people pleasers but they can’t stand to let someone down. An obliger needs to build in external accountability for inner expectations. So if they’ve made a New Years Resolution, they need to tell everyone by blogging about their intentions, for example. Then they’re motivated to please those they’ve promised, even though they’re really serving themselves. Obligers are not good self-starters. They need deadlines, coaches, late fees, check ins. They’re also very susceptible to burn out. Everyone else takes advantage of the obligers. So if you’re in a relationship with an obliger, be mindful of that.

Certain combinations of people and jobs work better together. Rebels are almost always married to obligers. Upholders must be in relationship with upholders or questioners with upholder tendencies. Otherwise, it’s a disaster in the making!

In the end, we can only build a happy life on the foundation of our own true nature. To learn to understand yourself is the adventure of a life- to love ourselves, to accept ourselves, and to live in accordance with your true nature.

Source : Dr Lisa Rankin MD / Author Gretchen Rubin

10 Simple Steps Toward Self-Sufficiency

In a utopian world, we would be 100% self-sufficient. We would have enough food, enough water, enough power, and enough fuel, and perhaps most important, enough money to live a well-rounded, healthy and comfortable life. We would have to work hard, yes, but at the end of the day we would have the satisfaction of being able to take care of ourselves without selling out to greedsters or taking a handout from the government.

Alas, everywhere you look there are roadblocks to achieving this state. Not the least of these roadblocks is our dependency on transportation systems and the power infrastructure to deliver goods and energy products to our homes and homesteads. And then there are the entitlements such as social security and Medicare for the older members of our population and disability and Medicaid for the disabled and the sick. Over the years, these systems have been set up – for better or for worse – to create dependencies rather than self-sufficiency’s.  (And by the way, the names may be different but these dependencies exist in all Western countries, not just the United States.)

Luckily, though, self-sufficiency is not an all or nothing proposition. At one end of the spectrum is a total, off grid, agrarian lifestyle and at the other is a moderately self-sufficient lifestyle where steps are taken to move toward 10% or 20% self sufficiency. Not a lot. But something.

Today I will share some easy steps you can take to to start moving toward that 10 or 20% percent mark. These are steps that do not require a farm, do not require acreage and do not require a lot of money to begin with. They are practical steps that you can start with and that you can select from and embrace as you needs and desire for independence change and grow over time.

Some are easy and others take a bit of skill and practice.  Some can be done for little or no cost and others will require in investment in time, labor, money or all three. The good news is that there are lots of choices and the journey toward self sufficiency does not have to be done is a day, a month, a year or even a decade.

10 Baby Steps Toward a Self Sufficient Lifestyle

1.  Grow a vegetable garden

This is a great first step to take toward taking care of yourself and some of your food needs. There are some books to help you such as The Edible Garden, All New Square Foot Gardening, The Backyard Homestead and Seed to Seed.  You can also get tons of help from seed suppliers, Master Gardeners and friendly neighbors that will be glad to give you some regionally appropriate advice.

Growing a vegetable garden is also fun.

2.  Build a compost pile

Something many gardeners do not think about is that to be successful, they are going to need fertilizer for their crops. Instead of creating a dependency on the garden center and chemical fertilizers (which also cost money), create your own fertilizer from food scraps and yard waste. The end result will be a nutrient rich fertilizer that is not only free, but a form of “black gold” for your garden vegetables.

3.  Grow fruit trees and berries

Imagine growing hundreds of pounds of fruit each year literally for free and for very little work? This can be done if you take the time, by asking around, to seek out native fruit trees that are natural to your area. Once established, these trees will not require fertilizer or water (but if you want to feed them some of that compost, they will love it).

4.  Learn to preserve your bounty

Canning, freezing, drying and smoking are some of the ways your can preserve your bounty so that you will have it to feed your family during the off-season. It does take time, yes, but the results in terms of food-saving costs are worth it. As with gardening, once you get the hang of it, preserving your food can be fun as well.

5.  Start an emergency fund

It is a fact of life that emergencies happen. I know people who have the means (and high paying jobs) that still live paycheck to paycheck. These are the people that scramble when their automobile needs major repairs or a family member gets sick and incurs a large medical bill. Start an emergency fund and pay yourself each week. Whether you put $5 or $50 a week into the fund, put something in the fund, even if it means you each beans and rice two nights a week so that you have the money to do so.

And by the way, beans and rice, well prepared, is delicious!

6.  Learn to barter

Bartering your skills or excess goods is an easy way to become less dependent on others. Need help? Go back and read 40 Items to Barter in a Post-Collapse World and get yourself a copy of the book “Bartering With Desperate People”.

7.  Make your own cleaning supplies

This is one of my favorites. All of my own cleaning supplies are the DIY type. Get yourself some vinegar, baking soda, castile soap, alcohol, pine cleaner and possibly some borax and you will have this covered.  Not only will this bring out the inner chemist in you, but imagine paying 50 cents for a bottle of effective and planet-friendly household cleaner instead of $3.00 or more. 

8.  Bake your own bread

This is also one of those fun things that will not only save you money, but will provide you delicious and wholesome results. A loaf of homemade bread will cost you 50 cents versus upwards of $4.00 or more at the supermarket.  Plus, the basic ingredients of flour, year, salt and water are all things you can pronounce and spell. No chemicals, no preservatives.

9.  Be your own handyman and fix-it yourself

Simple plumbing and electrical repairs can easily be learned (or bartered – see above). Painting, deck building and other handyman activities will save you a ton of money and give you the satisfaction of knowing that you can, indeed, do it yourself.

10.  Become self-entertaining

Learn to play cards, work crosswords, or become an expert at Scrabble. Learn to dance or play the harmonica. Volunteer as an actor or singer at your local community the theater. The point here is to become self-entertaining which means being able to relax and enjoy yourself without the computer, the television, the DVD player or other amusements that rely on electronic gizmos. You just might find that you don’t need that boob-tube after all.

The Final Word

My own experience tells me that there is a special inner peace that comes from being self-sufficient. I experienced that myself last year when our power went out for an extended period. Others that I talk to also tell me that they too find great joy in the simple things in life that do not rely on excessive consumerism.

Taking baby steps toward self sufficiency while doing thing that you enjoy will help you get closer to and independent lifestyle more quickly than you can imagine.

Enjoy your next adventure through common sense and thoughtful preparation!