Why is it that we tend to raise our voices when we are angry and whisper when we are in love?

In this holographic reality physical distance is an illusion.  You can feel very close to someone who is far away and you can also feel very distant from someone who is standing right in front of you.

Read this Hindu Proverb and think about why we naturally raise our voice when we are upset…

“Why We Shout In Anger”

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked.

‘Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?’

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said,’Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’ asked the saint

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, .

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The saint continued, ‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He looked at his disciples and said.

‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, Do not say words that distance each other more, Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’

A simple and yet beautiful lesson…

When I notice my voice raising I try to take a deep breath and think about what I need to say to stop the distancing feeling and start connecting again.  This can be very hard in the moment but with practice it becomes more natural to search for common ground and connection rather than continuing to fight.

Sometime, depending on the person you are with, the best method is to give them a long hug and softly say “I love you.”

Remember that we are all one and so in the end you are really just fighting with yourself.  Show yourself love and connection by loving those around you.

What have you found that works in your life?  Share in the comments other tools you have found to bridge gaps and return to a feeling of safety and love.

Thank you for reading....