Do you realise that everybody’s got some motivation for being who they let you think they are?

Do you realise that everybody’s got some motivation for being who they let you think they are? In fact, most of the people you’ve met aren’t really who they say they are. Sure, their names are correct 90% of the time, but the character they show you is just a facade. The very identity that we’ve come to know for most people is a manufactured avatar of the real person. Human beings haven’t really evolved as people. They’ve just developed more inventive masks to hide the true animals inside. As a result, almost everything that most people do is geared towards some level of misdirection.

It is designed to hide that which sits beneath – the real animal they are often too ashamed for others to see. If that true person were to come out for everyone to see, the mask will bring that large majority of us to shame. Unfortunately for these people, I like many others, have learned how to see right through these masks. In this post, I’m going to show you what each mask is designed to hide.

Everyone you know is a hypocrite to some degree. The masks that most people wear were are usually the polar opposite of the personality they’re trying to hide. It is a form of misdirection, intended to allow that individual to blend seamlessly into their environment. Masks are really a psychological defence mechanism designed for the sole purpose of easing the task of survival. People wear masks to be accepted, loved or ignored. Masks give them the cover necessary to facilitate acceptance by society. Being rejected by society can have very serious implications, ranging the full gamut from scorn to exile and even in some cases, death.

But we’ve become so dependent on masks, that we often use them to hide our true colours even when we don’t really need to. With that said, I’ve compiled a pretty extensive list of the true motivations of the many types of people you’ve probably met. Check this list and I bet you can place almost every one of them to somebody that you know:

❇ 1. The Obnoxious

Easily identified by their boorish propensity to talk first, think later. These people rarely have anything to hide aside from their gross insecurity. They [erroneously] think that the louder they speak (or the more obnoxious they behave) the less likely you will be able to see how lonely, defeated and insecure they really are. The loudest people are usually the weakest. It is similar to how some creatures in the animal kingdom (like certain species of lizards and birds) slightly alter their physiology to scare off potential predators. Obnoxious people are cowards. Call their bluff and use it against them.

❇ 2. The Pretty Dunce

People who are very physically comely use that facet of their being for everything that they do. Since they notice from an early age that their looks gets positive results 80% of the time, they tend to not develop any other characteristics of their personality and thus come off as either air headed (in the case of girls) or hopelessly arrogant (boys). The first time they’re turned down will come as a crushing blow to these people, because they’re not used to hearing the word “no”. When you meet these people, use it as an opportunity to practice saying “no”. You’ll make a man/woman out of them yet.

❇ 3. The Pious

These people are hiding two things: 1. The fact that they often have the most sins to hide and 2. The fact that they aren’t really very bright (even though they will articulate in a way which would insinuate this). These people think that everything is either black or white. They believe that right and wrong are very simple terms to define and live by. However, these people are usually the least intelligent of most crowds, because they use the mysticism of religion to hide the fact that they are actually quite clueless. This is easy for them to do because religion doesn’t follow any strict rules of logic, and as such can be twisted, spun and reinterpreted anyway they choose. They become fine studies in religious text and wear it like badge because they’re trying to over compensate for that really naughty thing they did a few years back. Throw as many tough questions at them as you can when you meet them. Seeing them squirm when they realise that the ‘rules’ don’t cover everything is priceless.

❇ 4. The Legalistic

People who always use rules to seed a discussion or to defend themselves are completely incapable of independent thought. These people are afraid of people who are smarter than them and are usually threatened by genius. This is because genius challenges them to think “outside of the box” – which goes outside of their comfort zone. You’ll find a lot of pious people who fit this bill. Being as dumb as a doorbell means that they’ll have to rely on other smarter people to make up rules for them to follow. Without rules, they are hopeless. These are people who feel more comfortable following than leading. They like to be told what to do and what to think. Therefore, lead the way.

❇ 5. The Drama Queen / King

People who love to overreact are the most deceptive mask wearers of all. These people could become professional actors if they liked. In fact, many professional actors and actresses are drama drones by default – which is why they don’t need to act when in character in a new movie or play. They are particularly dangerous because they can summon emotions on cue. While most of these people are women, there are a few men that also fit the bill. Dramaphiles use their antics as a cry for attention – largely because they love being the centre of it. People overreact when they want others to take them more seriously than is necessary. Ignoring them is the greatest insult. Use it wantonly and indiscriminately.

❇ 6. The ‘Closet Freak’

There are two kinds of shy people: 1. Those that are really, genuinely shy and 2. Those for whom ‘shyness’ is provisional. The second lot wear their shyness as a mask to hide the fact that they are closet freaks. They have the capacity to be the most boorish, obnoxious, wild animals – especially in the bedroom, but they don’t want just anyone to know. Pretentious shyness helps them hide the fact that there is nothing too taboo for them. The ‘shy’ facade helps them to filter out those who would accept the fact that they are hiding an innate desire to be a dirty whore that likes to get it rough, handcuffed, whipped and treated like a filthy skank. Apply alcohol unsparingly. Shyness disappears after one drink. Repeat as necessary.

❇ 7. The Caustic

People who are constantly cynical, vitriolic or consistently use strong, caustic language in their analyses about everything are actually very lonely, unhappy people. To mask this fact, they verbally take away the emotional value of everything so that others around them can feel just as bland about life as they are. By bleeding the colour out of life so that everyone else sees it in monochrome like they do, they achieve a mild sense of comfort in knowing that there are others around like them. Ignore them when they mouth off. Never give let them believe that what they have to say is important.

❇ 8. The Passive-Aggressive

These are people who are so anal, that when they want to communicate your violation of one of their insignificant little pet peeves, they prefer to leave you little notes here and there to express their dissatisfaction. When they’re not leaving you little notes, they’ll send you an e-mail. The bottom line is that these people try to avoid in person confrontation as much as possible. This is because they’re  actually cowards who want to fight, but have neither the will nor the strength to do so. They scare easily. As such, they pursue other evasive methods of warfare (hence, “passive-aggressive”) all while being politically correct and painfully polite. They are relying on the fact that you supposedly respect their bounds enough not to become confrontational. Take that power away from them by doing just that. Confront them. Better yet, if you want to have fun with them will driving them up the wall, return the favour. Trading notes or e-mails can prove to be pretty fun. It actually gives you time to think about what to say before you jot it down. If they call you childish, just remind them who started it. Make them realise that you’re openly stripping them of their power. It will drive them mad.

❇ 9. The Wannabe

These people are the easiest to spot. They are always on auto-detect around those whom they worship. They are the white rappers without street cred, the barbie doll knockoffs purging to become super models when they don’t have the genes for it, the pretentious kid who is always seen walking around with the school bully constantly repeating he/she says, the yes person in the office always brown-nosing the boss and trying too hard to impress, the black girl wearing fake hair to look white,  or even you trying so hard to fit in as the new kid on the block, that you sacrifice some aspect of your individuality. That’s exactly the problem with wannabes: They have no sense of self worth. They define themselves in the eyes of others. They are only loyal to those whom they perceive as a valuable source of upliftment – so their loyalty is conditional. Their behaviour is a very loud declaration of insecurity. Calling a wannabe a ‘wannabe‘ is the easiest way to hit them hard where it hurts. But why stop there? You can break up a bully and his lap dog by turning them against each other. Let the lapdog wannabe know what the bully/boss really thinks about them. Sow seeds of doubt. Lapdogs know very little about loyalty, and will eventually jump ship once the friendship goes sour. It’s also quite fun to watch a lapdog’s boss turn on them when their friendship goes out in a blaze of glory. This tactic works on all wannabes, from the schoolyard to the office. Use it wantonly and indiscriminately.

❇ 10. The Restless Comedian

As strange as it may sound, people who love to make others laugh (especially at the expense of those nearby) are only trying to re-direct attention away from their own insecurities – however insignificant. They hope that by being funny, they’ll keep everyone else’s mind so busy that it reduces the odds that those flaws (perceived or otherwise) will go unnoticed. Sometimes it’s just that they feel nervous or uncomfortable. At the back of their mind, they reason that if they get everyone laughing, it would be a perfect ice breaker. This becomes particularly conspicuous when they go overboard with this tactic when the situation is one that doesn’t call for humor. These people are relatively harmless. Befriend them and give them self confidence. They’ll make you look good in the end. For those who use their humor to hurt others, turn the focus on them. Keeping the attention centred on them will kill their self confidence. They will implode under the weight of their own self doubt shortly afterwards. Since comedy is a right brain “fuzzy logic” operation, it’s easy to kill their mojo when you make fun of them for a change.

❇ 11. The ‘Gurus’

People who appear to be “know-it-alls” are for the most part just attention seeking con artists. They just happen to know a lot of trivia about many unrelated facts – but rarely any information that is of any useful value. They flaunt their expert trivia around to gain the respect of their peers. This usually works because these peers tend to be people who don’t read much themselves. These people are the one eyed men living in the land of the blind. Gurus use this to take advantage of people in debates. Since they’re good at spewing a lot of trivia, they tend to take this a step further by pulling ideas “out of their ass” – i.e. making stuff up on the spot. They don’t fear being found out because, again, their audience is one that rarely does any research on its own. Gurus are really annoying, because they’re constantly conning people in order to score “respect” points - that is until someone is smart enough to call their bluff. That’s when the real coward comes out.  The only weapon they have is self confidence in their own B.S. So keep calling their bluff. You don’t have to prove that you know otherwise. Their own shame and guilt will crush them once they’re called a liar.

❇ 12. The Boastful

People who like to brag are actually very, VERY insecure. They’re usually so used to bragging that there comes a time in their life when it becomes second nature. Most of the bragging is false – it is a lie meant to cover up those parts of their life which are gaping failures that they’re terribly ashamed of. Boastful people are actually quite pitiful. There’s no end to what tall tales you’ll hear them come up with next. If you want to have fun with them, call their bluff in the open. Make an open declaration that you know they’re lying and you don’t need to prove it. The look on their face that comes next is the proof in the pudding. Watching them squirm as they change their story however, is priceless.

❇ 13. The Intellectual

Intellectuals are actually very shy people hiding behind their smarts. Like the Restless Comedian, an intellectual will often draw on their genuine expertise in a certain area of thought to break ice during conversations or to elicit awe from people around them at parties just so as to make them feel more comfortable. Intellectuals tend to be terribly fearful of failure. As such, they’re not risk takers by nature and often find themselves hoping to be on the receiving end of a romantic rendezvous instead of playing the role of initiator. The same treatment applies here as the restless comic – especially if the intellectual is dishonest. Sometimes these people like to ask open ended rhetorical questions in an effort to confuse their opponent in a heated debate. Just remind them that asking a question they’re not willing to answer themselves makes the whole point of asking the question pointless. It’s nothing more than a shallow shock and awe tactic that’s meant to bring the discussion to a close so that they can get away with intellectual dishonesty. Don’t let it happen.

❇ 14. The Bureaucratic

People who like to overcomplicate issues are actually very unimportant people who are trying to seek a sense of self worth by creating red tape where none needs to be. Bureaucratic people are insecure about their accomplishments in life. This is because deep down they know that its relevance is very minute and may become threatened by change. Bureaucrats often think that value is directly proportional to size or complexity – which is the quintessential fallacy that governs their rather annoying behaviour. Bureaucrats are a lot like the legalistic, with the only difference being that they are more inclined to padding the truth as a result of petty jealousy. Call them on it or call their superior. If they have no superior, walk around them. They, like the passive aggressive, only claim their power in the respect they expect you to give them. Show them none, and they are powerless.

❇ 15. The Judicious

There are those which like to sum you up by determining only a few bits of information about you or your motivations. The only thing humorous about these morons is their duplicitous propensity for befriending you once you’ve categorically proven them wrong from the outset. They are subscribers to the ideology that the best defence is a good offence. They fail to realise however, that you can’t make an offence when you don’t know your target. Sun Tzu writes: “If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the outcome of a thousand battles“. The judicious only know themselves. Use that to your advantage. The embarrassment that sets in once you prove them wrong leaves them wide open after a proper rebuttal. So be still young one. Only the cowardly strike blindly in the dark and expose themselves. Let them talk first. That’s all the armament you need to take them down. Hang them by their own words and walk away from the carnage. Most times, their embarrassment is enough to bring them down. If you want to accept their apology + friendship, that’s your call. Sun Tzu also writes: “Keep your friends close. Keep your enemies closer“. That way you will never be surprised by those who intend to do you harm.

❇16. The Politically Correct

People who invent new nonsense expressions to “neutralise” the effect of the spoken word are actually very dangerous manipulators. In fact, anyone who is overly and unnecessarily diplomatic is only saying “nice doggie” until they can find a rock. Diplomacy (aka Lip service) is designed specifically to woo the attention of the hearer and to pacify the enemy in order to achieve ulteriour motives. For example; The United States calls Black People “African Americans” because they know that without them, ESPN would have nothing to air on tv and the volatile tempered black folk in America would tear the country apart at the slightest hint of a racial infraction. Think about it.

❇ 17. Gentlemen

Ladies, every man wants to score. Whether we are just your friends or more than that, every one of us would like the opportunity to get to third base – with all of you. We pretend to not objectify you because we want to score. We pretend to like you even when we don’t because we want to score. We laugh at your corny jokes because we want to score. In fact, we let you cry on our shoulders, win arguments, buy you expensive gifts, say we love you and even admit to being wrong when we know we aren’t, all for the same reason; we want to score! Plus, we want to score with as MANY of you ladies as is humanly possible – whether or not we’re married. In fact, it is unnatural for any one man to desire only one woman. That is a learned propensity not found in our genetic code. We were taught monogamy by our society for the purposes of sustainable social development on an over populated planet. Therefore, every man wears a mask of self control. Everyone of us. We act like gentlemen because that’s what we’re told.

However, if it were still 2 million B.C., maan…it would be SO on. Where my club at?

❇ 18. Ladies

Women are generally such really nice people. In fact, they’re so nice by default, that when they break down and get mad, most people are inclined to mutter to themselves under their breath: “bitch“. This is so unfair! Because here’s some news for ya: EVERY WOMAN HAS A BITCH STREAK. Yes that’s right. Every woman has the potential to become a full on, cold hearted, obnoxious, take no prisoners, shoot first, never ask questions, mother loving bitch – even the nicest most pleasant women you’ve met. Even if they don’t act that way most of the times, every woman becomes a bitch at least once every 28 days. A woman’s bitch mode is actually necessary for survival in a male dominated world. It is a pretty potent defence mechanism – much like the deadly venom from the otherwise frail Austrailian brown snake. However, those who wear the bitch gene on their sleeves are just desperate for attention and should be categorically ignored. Most women are right brained and as such are more emotionally driven than men. Their hormones can seriously exacerbate that situation. When a woman becomes Ms. Bitch, shut up. You could be endangering your scoring privileges (see above point!). Sometimes a woman needs to vent. It doesn’t matter what she’s saying when she’s venting. That’s just the hormones talking. Just agree with her until she expends all the negative energy. If you play your cards right, you’ll be back in good graces before you know it.

❇ 19. ‘Successful’ Corporate People

Don’t let the suit + SUV + huge house fool you. With the exception of the suit, these people don’t own anything else. The Bank owns everything they have. They’re using their fat pay checks to pay off the loans for everything – which means that their net salary each month after paying the monthly installments for their expensive lifestyles is quite probably a fraction of YOUR take home pay. Most of them are eye-deep in debt. Their expensive ware is just for profiling and to make you feel intimidated or inadequate by theirstandards. Sometimes they do it to belong to a club of high rollers in their organisation – even though their salaries are barely capable of maintaining that appearance.

❇ 20. Your Friends

Every one of your friends befriended you because of something you can do for them. You should know that friendship is transactional – meaning that there is some kind of symbiotic relationship in motion. The instant your intrinsic value diminishes, the friendship ends. Even those friends that stick by you in hard times – they’re either doing it because of how you make them feel or because you have something that they want. Search your feelings padawan. You will know this to be true. Nobody does anything for free. There’s always a trade going on in there somewhere…

Conclusion

Now that you realise that everyone you know is putting up a facade of pretence, it’s time that you determine who you really are. Yes you! Your facade speaks to whatever it is that you’re trying to hide. Which one of these 20 descriptions could be you? If you think you don’t belong in any single category, then you probably belong to more than one.  When you understand the nature of your own representative that you set to meet new people, then you will understand the nature of your fear. When you understand the nature of your fear, then you can understand how to overcome it. Once you do, the minds of the human race are your footstool and you are the king of the world.

Source: “The Masks We Wear,” from xenlogic.wordpress.com