✿ Life was never meant to be a Struggle ✿

"Life was never meant to be a struggle, just a gentle progression from one point to another, much like walking through a valley on a  sunny day." ~ Stuart Wilde 

Characters in the Strugglers' Hall of Fame. I'm sure you'll have fun  recognizing them from among your friends and acquaintances.  

✿ The Hero : Men like struggling, but then so do some women. The male version goes something like this: "If I bust a gut and hurtle around trying hard, people will see me as a good man and treat me with respect. Whether I get results or not matters little, as long as I am seen to be making a valiant effort. To make sure everyone acknowledges my heroism, I'll create an entire theater of frantic action, hectic schedules, meetings of earth-shattering importance, long hours, and constant pressure. Of course, this pantomime will make me a bit tense. But that is all part of the act, for the tension will be seen by others as my taking responsibility, and they will love and respect me for that. Won't they?"

If the truth be known, the answer is "no." In fact, anyone with perception will see this male as a complete idiot. His weakness, namely a lack of personal acceptance, stands out a mile. He has chosen sacrifice as his fate, in the hope of winning affection or acknowledgment. His frantic actions only serve to underline that he is out of control and hasn't a clue about what he is doing.

✿ The Terror”ist”. Because this fellow is uncomfortable with himself, he finds he can't deal with society. He was either born disadvantaged, has never been accepted, or  he bears some other kind of grudge. He therefore has to operate outside of society and finds it hard to accept help from anyone. He struggles through a hundred and one projects that never quite come off. Even if he does make a success of a relationship or project, it seems to him a hollow victory -- what he wants is acceptance, not success. So he'll usually self-destruct his successes, then move on to struggle at something else. If the terror”ist” ever finds himself within the mainstream -- if he gets a job in a corporation, for example -- he'll find fault with that situation. He'll sneer at it and attempt to change or destroy it. Usually, his actions will threaten those around him -- and sooner or later he'll be tossed out.

Because the terror”ist” has to fight the system rather than use it, he never gets what he wants. No one supports him. If he does find someone who loves and accepts him, he disregards that support, focusing instead on all those aspects of nonrecognition that are a part of his life.

✿  The Professional Wimp. This person  is so weak, so lacking in the ability to command life, that he allows everyone to lead him around by the nose. It makes him angry, and he will protest his rights from a position that he feels is logical and just. But his struggle results from weak energy. He gets  nowhere and no one cares.

There is a variation on this theme: the "Spiritual" Wimp. This character has a huge ego and feels that God dropped him off on  earth so he could sit around being "special." He is usually so "holy"  that he can't soil his hands with life. He expects people to treat  him like a god and to honor him anyway. Usually he struggles like crazy, for people find it hard to accept his lifestyle, and his failure threatens them.

✿ The Goddess, is similar to the male. She plays a game called, "Please accept me, for I am great. I am really a goddess, and I am as strong as any male -- or stronger." To act out her pantomime, she dresses in male clothes, drives fast cars, and gets superaggressive (to make up for her  lack of  confidence). And she, too, hurtles out and plays the  achiever's game of her male counterpart.  In truth, being a goddess is hard work; you constantly have to sustain a celestial pose. Usually, others won't see you as a  goddess, so you expend energy in the hope of convincing them. By  trying to emulate the male, the female is actually saying, "I know I am weaker." This, of course, is not true. Most women are spiritually stronger than males, if only they would realize it.

✿ "Wilting Wallflower."  It goes like this: "I am just a helpless little person. I am weak and  I don't understand life. I can't add figures or mend a fuse; my emotions are all over the parking lot. Please save me, please look after me. That way I can sit someplace and not do much of anything."

This works to a certain extent, for sooner or later the "lifesaver" type shows up to assist her. The problem is that the lifesaver, be they male or another female, will only save the Wallflower once or twice. Then they move on because there's nothing in it for them. As the Wilting Wallflower plays out her act, it gets harder and harder for her to feel any self-worth. Sooner or later that lack of self-worth pulls her to people who will delight in manipulating her. Her spiral of struggle is self- perpetuating for, in order for her to get the attention she craves, she has to create more and more dramatic scenarios of helplessness. Eventually she drifts into playing victim. You all know the type. When you meet her, she pours out a litany of disasters. There is nothing you can do for her because she's not asking for help, she just wants you to commiserate. Quite often you will want to punch her in the nose just to keep her happy.

What do these characters have in common? First, they are all pretty “stupid”. They are playing out those facets of their personalities that are not truth. Yet, with just a small adjustment  in attitude, they could move from struggle into flow. You have to work hard at creating struggle, whereas flow is a natural condition. It comes from accepting yourself and watching your life so that it's reasonably balanced most of the time.

The difference between a Spiritual person and a person who is less evolved is that spiritual persons are real. They live within the truth of the inner self, what many call the Higher Self. They don't play games; they don't have to make excuses. They can say with conviction, "I am what I am." They realize that they are neither all-knowing nor perfect and are happy with that.

✿ Source :  Life was never meant to be a Struggle by Stuart Wilde   ISBN 1-56170-535-7